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PLEASING PERSONALITY PRIORITY

This test is a very simplified version of one we do in the first class of the Discovery Course. It is meant to help people determine what their default personality characteristics are in stressful circumstances (as in many parenting situations). It suggests the Default Mode of Operation we adopt when we are hurried, irritated, hungry, tired or overworked. This is NOT how we typically behave when we are relaxed, rested and well fed.

The Pleasing Priority type models compromise and consideration and is sensitive to the feelings and needs of others. This type usually has many friendships, is a peacemaker and a frequent volunteer. When compared to the others, the Pleasing Priority type is more likely to say "yes" when they feel "no". So on the deficit side, this may lead to diminished self-care as the interests of others are sometimes put before their own needs. This can lead to lessened sense of self and possible perceptions among others that this type is a pushover. This priority type may develop resentments if there is not reciprocity or appreciation for the work done by them on behalf of others.

From a parenting point of view consider the following. It is vitally important for your children to learn to honor and care for themselves. As their primary teacher, it will be important for you to model high regard for yourself. You are so good to them; try being even better for them. You can be good for them by being good to yourself. Look for loving ways to say "no" when appropriate and follow through with firmness. Ultimately this will be more pleasurable for them and for you.



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