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CONTROL PERSONALITY PRIORITY

This test is a very simplified version of one we do in the first class of the Discovery Course. It is meant to help people determine what their default personality characteristics are in stressful circumstances (as in many parenting situations). It suggests the Default Mode of Operation we adopt when we are hurried, irritated, hungry, tired or overworked. This is NOT how we typically behave when we are relaxed, rested and well fed.

The Control Priority type tends to be a good decision maker and crisis manager. This type is assertive, persistent, well organized and productive. The Control Priority type is the go-to person and models leadership for their children. The potential downside to this Priority Type is that there are tendencies toward bossiness, rigidity and defensiveness. There can be a lack of spontaneity in work as well as more casual home situations. Social and emotional distance may exist in relationships as a result. This priority type may invite power struggles with others . . . especially with those who are closest.

With regard to parenting, here are some things to consider. Tantrums and other forms of power battles really put a wrench in a well-planned day. Offering your children more choices and involving them more in decision-making about their daily and weekly activities will markedly reduce power contests. Also you might try to let go a bit of the need for all the ducks to be in a row . . . each thing and each person in the appropriate place at the right time doing the correct thing. The ultimate goal of parenting is to have kids able to control themselves. So try to give them regular opportunities to practice this skill, fail at this skill and then learn to improve upon it.



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